It's Over. It's All Over.

Pop quiz, hotshots.  Does this post title refer to:

1. The Illini's search for a new football coach, now that Tim Beckman has been hired?
2. The Tyler Colvin era in Chicago, now that he's been traded to the Rockies for Ian Stewart?
3. The Bears' playoff chances after Sunday's date with the Tebow steamroller?
4. None of the above

The answer is "D", none of the above.  The post title refers to this blog.

When I started writing, the Cubs were run by Jim Hendry, the Illini were run by Ron Guenther, the Bears were run by Jerry Angelo, and everything seemed hopeless, sports-wise, so I needed an outlet to vent my frustrations.  But now, 17 months later, the Cubs have a competent front office, the Illini have an AD who demands accountability from his coaches, and the Bears...well, two out of three ain't bad, right?  Anyway, I don't know how many people are actually reading these posts, and I'm just tired of writing, so I've decided that I'm not going to be updating the blog anymore.

And as my final post draws to a close, I'm reminded of a few of the events that brought me closer to you: Albert Pujols leaving St. Louis, back-to-back football wins over Northwestern, premium ice cream wars, dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards, and others that weren't so lucky. 

And so, farewell.  It's been a blast.  And if you do like what I write but can only take it in doses of 140 characters or less, don't forget to look for my new column in PC World magazine that you can still follow me on Twitter. 

Smell ya later!

Thumbs Down - Can the Bears Overcome Jay Cutler's Injury?

"I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead." - Homer Simpson

I certainly don't feel that way about life in general (and not just because, like hens love roosters and geese love ganders, I love Ned Flanders more than Homer Simpson loves a nacho hat).  But the first part of that sentence does a pretty good job of summarizing how I've felt watching my football teams this fall.  After a 6-0 start, the Illini may need to win their last game of the regular season at Minnesota to avoid being shut out of a bowl game.  The Bears had been doing a good job of covering up the stench emanating from Champaign by posting a five-game winning streak - and major props to you if you guessed that the Bears, who were sitting at 2-3 at the same time the Illini were 6-0, would reach seven wins before the Illini did.  However, as you've undoubtedly heard, the Bears suffered a crushing injury on Sunday, losing long snapper Patrick Mannelly to a torn ACL.  Oh - and there was also something about Jay Cutler breaking his thumb during the win over the Chargers.

Velcome to Chicago, Dale Sveum!

That's "SWAYM"

In all honesty, I wasn't exactly thrilled when I first heard the news that the Cubs were planning to hire Dale Sveum as their new manager.  This is the first big decision by the Cubs' new front office team.  So why were they (and the Red Sox, for that matter) so eager to pursue a guy who had twice been passed over for the managerial opening in Milwaukee - once when he was the Brewers' interim manager and had just guided the franchise to its first postseason appearance in 26 years?  Then I read about how Sveum "is a believer in the advanced statistical analysis that Chicago's new leadership loves and is counting on to build up the farm system."  Money quote:

''I do my due diligence and video work and prepare as much as anybody,'' Sveum said before he was hired. ''As far as the stats, those are what they are, and we can use them to our advantage. It's a big part of the game now. It's helping us win a lot of ballgames, the stats and the matchups. That's just part of the game now, and you use what you can.''

Taking advantage of stats and matchups...so no more equating drawing walks with "clogging the bases"?  No more batting a low OBP guy in the leadoff spot because that's where he's "comfortable"?  No more putting a thoroughly average hitter (career OPS+ of 100) in the middle of the order every day?  Wow - if this is true, I can sum up my thoughts on this hire in two words (no, not those two words):

Illini vs. Wisconsin Preview: Ron Zook's Last Stand?

 

But does Mike Thomas agree?

One of the most painful outcomes for Illinois football in recent years came in the 2009 season finale against Fresno State.  Nearly two years later, it's still difficult to believe that our Senior Day was ruined on a last-second, tipped-pass-for-a-two-point-conversion reception by a Bulldogs offensive lineman.  That loss capped off a 3-9 season for the Illini (Ron Zook's second straight losing season), and it seemed all but certain that we would never see Zook on the Illinois sideline at Memorial Stadium again.  But thanks to the generosity, insanity, and/or stupidity of then-AD Ron Guenther, Zook survived, and we've now seen him coach an additional 13 games at Memorial Stadium.  This Saturday's clash against #15/#17 Wisconsin will be his 14th since that Fresno State game.  But unless the Illini can score a victory over the Badgers, it's difficult to believe that current AD Mike Thomas will give Zook the opportunity to extend that number, no matter what Thomas is saying now.  By the way, I've heard that ESPN was planning to bring the blimp to Champaign for Saturday's broadcast, but in a cost-cutting move they've instead decided to get their aerial shots of the game by strapping cameras to the vultures circling over Zook's head.

Given that atmosphere, is there any hope for the Fighting Zookers on Saturday?

Urge to Fire Ron Zook...Rising!

When the Bears signed Todd Collins last year, I went out of my way to praise the move.  My reward for standing up for Collins?  In a start against Carolina (the worst team in the NFL in 2010), Collins produced one of the most inept performances by a Bears QB that I've ever seen (and that includes performances by Rusty Lisch, Rick Mirer, and Henry Burris).

So what does Todd Collins have to do with Ron Zook?  Well, during the Illini's bye week, I did my best to defend Ron Zook's record as Illinois head coach, and asked my fellow Illini fans to be patient despite our team's three-game skid.  My reward?  With two weeks to prepare for Michigan, we got another completely listless offensive performance, more crappiness from our "special" teams, and the Wolverines kicking the snot out of the Illini in Champaign last Saturday in a game that wasn't as close as the 31-14 final score indicated, extending the losing streak to four games.  Making matters worse, there were two separate off-field incidents involving Illini players over the weekend, so while we're slipping in the Big Ten standings, we're moving up in the Fulmer Cup standings.  And the topper - during the last two weeks, both Northwestern and Purdue scored big upset victories (over Nebraska and Ohio State, respectively).  With those results, it's almost certain that ten of the Big Ten's twelve schools will be bowl-eligible by season's end, meaning that if the Illini do end the season 6-6, there may not be a bowl bid for them as I thought two weeks ago.

The promise and progress the Illini showed early this season has completely disintegrated, and unless the team can bounce back and post an upset win against Wisconsin (unlikely, given the state of our offense and the top-ten-in-the-nation scoring defense of the Badgers), I'm guessing that not even a win at Minnesota in the season finale will be enough to convince Mike Thomas to keep Zook around for 2012.  So thanks, Ron Zook, for taking what was shaping up to be a fantastic year and dragging it into the gutter, and for making me look really bad.  Go find another blogger to stand up for you - I'm done.

The St. Louis Cardinals - A Perfectly Cromulent Team

In the "Lisa the Iconoclast" episode of the Simpsons, Lisa sets out to prove that Jebediah Springfield, the beloved founder of the town of Springfield, was actually a brutal pirate named Hans Sprungfeld.  Upon hearing Lisa's theory, Homer states that he believes Lisa, telling her "[y]ou're always right about this sort of thing, and for once I want in on the ground floor."

So what does this have to do with the the St. Louis Cardinals?  Well, during this past season, I scoffed at several of the Cardinals' player personnel moves.  You guys think Lance Berkman can hold up as an everyday right fielder?  You think Ryan Theriot is an everyday shortstop?  Edwin Jackson has been traded three times in less than three years, but you can figure out what's wrong with him?  It seemed to me as if the top decision-makers in the Cardinals' front office had crayons lodged in their brains.  But of course, like Lisa, the Cardinals ended up being right about everything they did, and to my dismay they won the 2011 World Series.

Now, I like to think that I know a little bit about baseball, so I've decided to adopt a new strategy this off-season.  Whatever the Cardinals do, and no matter how ridiculous it seems, I'll go on record as saying it's a brilliant move.  For example, if I heard that Rodrigo Lopez joined the Cardinals starting rotation in 2012, I'd predict 17 wins and a sub-3.00 ERA.  If Albert Pujols were to leave via free agency and the Cardinals made Bryan LaHair their starting first baseman next year, I'd guarantee LaHair would hit 35 home runs.  If the Cardinals were to decide that Mike Quade should be the one to replace Tony LaRussa as manager, I'd still expect nothing less than a second consecutive championship.  In other words, for once I want in on the ground floor.

To be clear - I'm not saying that I'm going to abandon the Cubs and become a Cardinals fan.  But it's worth acknowledging that Aristotle's quote "no great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness" is right on the mark when it comes the maneuverings of our I-55 rivals.  And it's also worth recognizing another baseball truism.  As Jebediah Springfield himself might have said (had he known about baseball):  "[a] noble redbird on the jersey embiggens the statistics of the crummiest ballplayer."

Illinois vs. Ohio State Preview: Illibuck-ing the Trend?

Imagine how the Illini teams of recent years would have reacted to one of the following scenarios:

• The opposing team returns the opening kickoff for a touchdown.
• While holding a four-point lead, the Illini commit a turnover inside their own five yard line.
• Ron Zook makes one of his patented* boneheaded coaching decisions.

*Actually, I'm not sure if it's patented, but I'm pretty sure he at least has the application on file at the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.

Now, imagine all three of those things happening in the first half of the same game - no way the Illini win, right?  But this year's version of the Illini was able to overcome all of those mistakes and coast to an easy 41-20 win over Indiana last week.  Granted, the Hoosiers are terrible, but there have been plenty of occasions during the past few seasons where mistakes have cost the Illini wins over terrible teams.  No, I think what we're seeing here is a genuinely good Illinois football team.  With six wins, the Illini are already bowl-eligible, and it's just the fifth time in the last 16 years that the Illini can say that they'll be playing an extra game at the end of the season.  If the Illini can beat Ohio State (3-3, 0-2) on Saturday in Champaign, it would mark just the seventh time in the last 25 years that the Illini have managed a seven-win season.  But that would mean beating the Buckeyes at home - a feat the Illini haven't accomplished in twenty years.  Can the Illini pull it off and capture the Illibuck trophy for the first time since 2007?

Illinois vs. Arizona State; Bears vs. Saints: Buy One Football Game Preview, Get the Second One Free!

Both the Illini and the Bears dominated their opposition last weekend, but both teams will face tougher tests this weekend:  the Illini will be hosting a top-25 team (Arizona State), while the Bears journey to the Superdome, where the Saints of football play.  Rather than write out separate previews (and predictions), I'm just going to combine previews for both games into one huge honkin' post.

2011 NFL Predictions

One of the best parts of being a sports fan is the way the seasons overlap, so that just as the baseball season winds down, football gets going, and when football ends, basketball takes over and leads right into spring, when baseball begins again.  It's a beautiful "Circle of Life" kind of thing.  True, it didn't work out so well for me this year, seeing as how the Cubs haven't played a meaningful game since, what, Mother's Day?  But that's not important right now.  What is important is that the NFL season kicks off on Thursday night.

In an attempt to predict the 2011 NFL season, I created an elaborate computer simulation that played out every game on the regular season schedule, as well as the postseason.  Unfortunately, since I have no idea how to write a computer program, I ended up with a Cincinnati vs. Carolina Super Bowl matchup.  So I decided to junk that whole set of predictions and just wing it instead.  And without further ado, here are my forecasted 2011 records for every team - and I'm giving out playoff prognostications too, at no extra charge!  Bears fans, I hope you're sitting down for this.

The Best and Worst of Jim Hendry

You probably already know that Jim Hendry was fired by the Chicago Cubs on Friday.  Actually, that's not true - he was really fired almost a month ago, but in a baffling move he was allowed to stay on as GM through the July 31 trade deadline (when the Cubs twiddled their thumbs and did nothing).  Which means that, technically, the Cubs allowed an ex-employee to make crucial decisions (or non-decisions) affecting the team's future.  It figures that even when the Cubs do something right, they still do it wrong.

Looking back on Hendry's nearly ten-year tenure running the Cubs, one could make the argument that he's the most successful GM the team has ever had (granted, there's not much competition).  After all, the Cubs won three division titles under his watch, and made back-to-back postseason appearances (in 2007 and 2008) for the first time since Tinker, Evers, and Chance (and Steinfeldt) patrolled the infield at West Side Grounds in the early 20th Century.  But there was always a feeling that, given the Cubs decided financial advantage as the only major-market team in the NL Central, they could have done even better.  For one thing, their three division titles included an 88-win season (2003) and an 85-win season (2007); both times, the Cubs didn't field dominant teams, but instead they barely were able to prevail over weak competitors to finish first.  And Hendry's three division winners were counterbalanced by the last-place, 96-loss clunker of 2006 and the last two lackluster seasons, which left the Cubs' overall record during his time as GM at 749-748 - which is about as mediocre as you can get.

Two Down - Jim Hendry Fired as Cubs GM

Wow, what a great year this is turning out to be!  First, Ron Guenther retired.  Now comes the news that the Cubs have fired GM Jim Hendry.  Since I wasn't expecting this to happen until after the season ended (if ever), it will take a little time for me to put together a longer retrospective on Hendry's tenure as GM.  But for now, it's good to know that three of my four favorite teams are giving me hope for something different (accountability and sustained success) going forward.  And since these things usually happen in threes, if I were Jerry Angelo (and if Angelo were aware of my blog), I'd be getting really nervous.

Chicago Cubs Finally Hit Rock Bottom

It's been a rough first half of the season for the Chicago Cubs.  There have been many instances when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse, only to discover that they could, in fact, sink way lower.  But now, I think we've finally hit rock bottom.

"Wait," I hear you saying.  "The Cubs didn't hit rock bottom when our manager gave multiple starts to a LOOGY reliever, or when he repeatedly used a player with only 17 career HR in over 300 career games in the #3 spot in the batting order?"

Nope.

Bulls Season Ends, Conspiracy Theory Season Begins

Almost a year into this blog, and this is my first NBA post, because even though I'm a sports fan I'm just not really into the NBA. I know, I know - these are the best basketball players in the world, playing at a ridiculously high level - what's not to like? Well, the regular season is too long, and too many teams make the playoffs, which makes the playoffs take too long (and why did the Bulls and Heat have four days off between games 2 and 3?), especially considering that the NBA is the least competitively-balanced of the four major leagues (only eight different teams have won championships in the last 30 years). It's great when you're a fan of a "have" (Lakers, Celtics, Jordan-era Bulls), but not so great for everyone else. But last night's season-ending Bulls loss compelled me to write for a couple of reasons:

Justice is Finally Done - Bruce Pearl is Fired!

One day after the end of the Illini basketball season (I'll have more to say about that soon), we Illini fans with older memories received some fantastic news. In the last six months, Bruce Pearl has had his name dragged through the mud courtesy of an NCAA investigation, lost $1.5 million in salary, was suspended from coaching for part of the SEC portion of Tennessee's schedule, and been humiliated in a first-round NCAA tournament loss. Now comes the cherry on the icing on the cake - Bruce Pearl has been fired as Tennessee coach for his unethical behavior (although the AP story still gets its history wrong - here's the correct version of what happened between Pearl and the Illini).

It's good to see that Pearl finally got what he deserved, and even though it took over 20 years, I'm glad to see Lou Henson and Jimmy Collins are vindicated, and maybe now Henson will get what he deserves - a spot in the Basketball Hall of Fame. And this is probably the best way to express Illini fans' feelings about you, Bruce Pearl:

What do we want? More Lovie Smith! When do we want it? Soon!

I've been trying to let Sunday's game digest, but it's still sitting in my stomach like unrefrigerated cottage cheese. So you can imagine the elation I felt when I saw this story. Apparently, there are two things you can be sure of: (1) every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings; and (2) every time the Bears lose a playoff game, Lovie Smith gets a contract extension.

Bottom line - if Jerry Angelo is true to his word, we can look forward to botched replay requests, wasted timeouts, and baffling personnel decisions (Todd Collins as your #2 QB? Really? Did you miss the four-interception game against Carolina, the worst team in the league? It was in all the blogs) for years to come!

The Bears Are Doomed...DOOMED!

Well, that's an onion in the ointment. I guess when you absorb nine sacks in one half, it does affect your ability to play football the following week. My sanguine outlook on the Bears' season rested on having a healthy Jay Cutler at QB. But without him, and without any semblance of a running attack so far this year, and without any demonstrated ability to pass-protect, and with a 38 year old starting at QB instead of the more mobile Cutler, the "soft" part of the schedule I've been touting suddenly looks a lot more difficult.

In any event, we'll soon see if my slightly positive review of the Todd Collins signing was on the money or not. Collins didn't look so hot against the Giants on Sunday, but by the time he entered the game the Giants were completely ignoring the Bears' running game (note - so were the Bears) and teeing off on their passing game. For what it's worth, he does have experience, which is more than the other potential backups they had in training camp brought to the table. It's worth noting that the Bears were apparently so desperate for a QB this week that they brought in former Illini QB Juice Williams in for a look-see. Now, Williams was a good player for the Illini (sometimes better than good), but unless they're looking at him as the second coming of Bobby Douglass, I can't imagine him having any future as an NFL QB.

Back to this week's game - is it possible to win an NFL game with neither a passing game nor a running game? The Bears will have to do something positive on the ground to take the pressure off of Collins. Some big special teams plays would be nice too, and it wouldn't hurt to have the defense force a few turnovers, especially in the red zone - and I mean the Panthers' red zone, not the Bears' red zone. Basically, the Bears are going to have to win this one without any offense, just like in the Abe Gibron era. And the 0-4 Panthers may be just the opponent that makes this possible. I'll be having this guy over to my house on Sunday, but if the Bears lose I may have to ban him for the rest of the year.

Prediction: Bears 16, Panthers 10

"You Won't Be Needing This"

First place in the NFC North is up for grabs Monday night. Bears. Packers. A rivalry going back to 1921. Need I say more? Of course I do, otherwise this post would be way too short.

I will say that saw some of the Giants game today, and they were an undisciplined mess. If the Bears can somehow get a win against the Packers, they'd have a leg up on Green Bay and a good shot at a 4-0 start. And with the softer part of the schedule after that....

Ah, whom am I kidding? The Bears are clearly setting me up to rip my heart out. Even without any semblance of a running game, Aaron Rodgers will have his way with the Bears' defense, and I feel like it will be a victory for the Bears if Jay Cutler gets through the game in one piece.

Prediction: Green Bay 31, Bears 17.

Thanks to Bears, Quarterback Controversy Continues

Now that the starters are off the field in tonight's Bears-Cardinals game, let's look at the box score to see how the Cardinals' two struggling quarterbacks did:

Derek Anderson - 7 for 12, 94 yards, 1 TD, 111.1 QB rating

Matt Leinart - 9 for 10, 84 yards, 1 TD, 135.0 QB rating

Yes, that's right. Matt Leinart has a 135 rating in this game. The Cardinals had a quarterback controversy coming into this game, and they still do, but now it's because the Bears defense made each quarterback look equally good.

And as I'm writing this, Bears sideline reporter Lou Canellis asked Julius Peppers if he's happy with the Bears' first-team defensive performance*, since they held the Cardinals to 14 points. Um, Lou, if you checked out the blogosphere, you might have read that during the first two preseason games, the two QBs whom the Bears "held" to 14 points led their offense to a combined total of 3 points against first-teamers.

*To Peppers's credit, he said he was not happy with their performance.

I'm not saying the Cardinals' performance tonight makes the Bears defense look really bad, but...I can't think of another way to finish this sentence.