Monday, October 31, 2011

The St. Louis Cardinals - A Perfectly Cromulent Team

In the "Lisa the Iconoclast" episode of the Simpsons, Lisa sets out to prove that Jebediah Springfield, the beloved founder of the town of Springfield, was actually a brutal pirate named Hans Sprungfeld.  Upon hearing Lisa's theory, Homer states that he believes Lisa, telling her "[y]ou're always right about this sort of thing, and for once I want in on the ground floor."

So what does this have to do with the the St. Louis Cardinals?  Well, during this past season, I scoffed at several of the Cardinals' player personnel moves.  You guys think Lance Berkman can hold up as an everyday right fielder?  You think Ryan Theriot is an everyday shortstop?  Edwin Jackson has been traded three times in less than three years, but you can figure out what's wrong with him?  It seemed to me as if the top decision-makers in the Cardinals' front office had crayons lodged in their brains.  But of course, like Lisa, the Cardinals ended up being right about everything they did, and to my dismay they won the 2011 World Series.

Now, I like to think that I know a little bit about baseball, so I've decided to adopt a new strategy this off-season.  Whatever the Cardinals do, and no matter how ridiculous it seems, I'll go on record as saying it's a brilliant move.  For example, if I heard that Rodrigo Lopez joined the Cardinals starting rotation in 2012, I'd predict 17 wins and a sub-3.00 ERA.  If Albert Pujols were to leave via free agency and the Cardinals made Bryan LaHair their starting first baseman next year, I'd guarantee LaHair would hit 35 home runs.  If the Cardinals were to decide that Mike Quade should be the one to replace Tony LaRussa as manager, I'd still expect nothing less than a second consecutive championship.  In other words, for once I want in on the ground floor.

To be clear - I'm not saying that I'm going to abandon the Cubs and become a Cardinals fan.  But it's worth acknowledging that Aristotle's quote "no great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness" is right on the mark when it comes the maneuverings of our I-55 rivals.  And it's also worth recognizing another baseball truism.  As Jebediah Springfield himself might have said (had he known about baseball):  "[a] noble redbird on the jersey embiggens the statistics of the crummiest ballplayer."

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Illini vs. Penn State Preview: A Valley Doesn't Sound Like a Good Place to Stop a Slide

In the middle of the 1995 Big Ten season, the Illini suffered back-to-back disheartening home losses:  first to Michigan State (a 27-21 loss); and then to Northwestern (17-14).  The next game on the schedule was a road trip to Iowa City. I expected to see a blowout, and that's exactly what happened.  Only the Illini weren't the victims, they were the perpetrators - the good guys routed the Hawkeyes 26-7.  I know everyone's upset about the current state of the Illini football team (rightfully so), and in the wake of the current two-game losing streak Ron Zook's name is starting to appear on "hot seat" lists again.  But if a Lou Tepper-coached team could stop a two-game losing streak as a big underdog in a hostile environment, is it out of the question for a Zook-coached team to do the same thing when the Illini (6-2, 4-4) travel to Happy Valley on Saturday to face Penn State (7-1, 4-0)?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

OK, It's Officially Official Now - Theo Epstein is a Cub

The press conference introducing Theo Epstein as President of Baseball Operations for the Chicago Cubs was held this morning at 11:00, which means that the nearly two-week-long wait for Epstein to actually begin working for the Cubs is finally over.  What a fortnight it's been - I don't think I've seen this level of national media hyperventilation about an off-field sports event since the second Brett Favre unretirement announcement.  And it's not just the mainstream media:  throw in the blogosphere and the Twitter-verse, and I think the only subject that's consumed more Internet bandwidth than speculation about Epstein these past two weeks is pornography. 

In any event, with the media circus behind us, it's good to know that Epstein will now be able to begin re-building the completely decimated Cubs franchise, because there's a lot to do (replace the manager, find better players, dump the bad contracts, figure out whom he's going to trade to the Red Sox for himself, teach the front office holdovers what "on-base percentage" is, etc.)  Thanks again to the Ricketts family for going all-in on this one and giving Cubs fans a reason to believe that good things are coming our way.  Now quit your lollygagging and get to work, Epstein!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Purdue 21, Illinois 14: We Lost to a Team that Lost to Rice

Questions raised during and immediately after the Illini's 21-14 loss to Purdue:
  • Did the team not know this was an 11:00 (CDT) start?
  • What happened to that punt return "breakthrough" Ron Zook talked about this week?  Did we have a single positive yardage punt return play in the game?
  • We were down 21 points in the first half, so why did we wait until the end of the fourth quarter to run anything resembling a hurry-up offense?
  • Spiking the ball with one second left in the first half - really?
  • Of course, we shouldn't be surprised that our team doesn't understand time management when our coach doesn't know how to manage the clock either, should we?
  • How long will it be before we return to the top 25?  And will Zook still be the coach when it happens?
  • If we just got pantsed by a team that couldn't beat Rice and barely beat Middle Tennessee, is there any way for us to beat Penn State, Michigan, or Wisconsin...or Minnesota?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Illini vs. Purdue Preview: Cannon Fodder?

I guess we all knew it was going to end sometime.  And since the Illini aren't going to finish the season undefeated, now we'll find out whether last Saturday's loss to Ohio State was just a bump in the road, or...whatever the opposite of a bump in the road is...the beginning of a giant sinkhole, I guess.  This week, the Illini leave home for just the second time in 2011 as they make the short trip to West Lafayette to face the Purdue Boilermakers (3-3, 1-2).  And for the third straight week, the winner takes home a trophy.  At stake this week - the Purdue Cannon (not pictured, left, but I'd love to win a trophy that looked like that).  Last year, the Illini claimed the Cannon for the first time since 2002 with a 44-10 victory, but that was an injury-riddled Purdue team we knocked around in Champaign.  Will a healthy bunch of Boilermakers be able to turn the tables on the Illini this year?

Monday, October 17, 2011

Illini, Tigers, and Bears, Oh My! The Almost Lost Weekend

Congratulations to my wife's grandmother, who turned 100 years old on Friday.  To celebrate, we drove up to Wisconsin on Saturday and spent the day with her, which left me unable to watch the Illini's 17-7 loss to Ohio State.   If anyone could figure out a way to lose a game in which the opponent completed only one pass in the entire game...well, it would have to be a team I root for, wouldn't it?  The Illini lost because the Buckeyes converted two turnovers into touchdowns, but the game wasn't sealed until a classic Ron Zook blunder in the final minutes.  With just over a minute left, the Illini had the ball and two time outs left, but faced 4th and 2 at the Ohio State 17 yard line.  But instead of kicking the field goal, the Illini went for the first down and failed, after which the Buckeyes ran out the clock.  Since you needed to score twice to win, why not kick the field goal there and leave as much time as possible to get the touchdown if you can recover the onside kick?  In the same situation last year, Northern Illinois took the field goal and then tried the onside kick (which the Illini recovered) even though the Huskies faced a longer kick than Derek Dimke would have attempted on Saturday, but I guess Ron Zook wasn't paying attention that day.  I only mention it because Lovie Smith made the exact same blunder at the end of last Monday's game against the Lions, and it would be nice if one of the football teams I root for had a coach who understood clock management.

Since I was on the road on Saturday night driving back to Chicago, I also missed Game 6 of the ALCS.  Apparently, so did the Detroit Tigers - they lost to the Texas Rangers 15-5, allowing the Rangers to repeat as American League champions.  And to be honest, I'm a little pissed at the Tigers right now, because they were the last team that could have prevented a nightmare World Series scenario.  With the Tigers out of the picture, this year's World Series winner will either be a hated rival, or a former loser franchise from Texas getting their first championship before I see the Cubs get one.  Now, where have I seen that before?  Oh, right.

But thanks to the Bears' performance on Sunday night, my sports weekend wasn't a complete disaster.  After Monday night's miserable performance, a home game against the hapless Minnesota Vikings (a/k/a "The Houston Astros of the NFC North") was just what the Bears needed. Too bad the Bears can't play the Vikings every week - the 39-10 win brought the Bears back to .500, and now I realize I may have been a little harsh in my assessment of the rest of the Bears season last week.  Other than the game at Green Bay, and maybe the game at Philadelphia, there's not a game on the remainder of the schedule that looks like a sure loss.  And with the Lions finally looking mortal Sunday, and with several other NFC contenders (Atlanta, Philadelphia) looking less than imposing so far this year, maybe the playoffs aren't such a reach for the Bears.  Of course, if the Bears couldn't get past the Packers to reach the Super Bowl last year, it's not like they have a shot to do it this year.  But I'm looking at it this way:  Lovie Smith's contract runs through 2013, so no matter how bad the Bears get this year, we're stuck with him through at least 2012, because there's no way in hell the McCaskeys fire a coach with two years remaining on his contract, right?   So since there's no reason to hope the Bears lose this year so they get rid of Smith faster (because that won't happen), we might as well hope for the best, and even a one-and-done #6 seed appearance in the playoffs would be worth it.  And don't worry, Smith-haters - with most of the Bears' star players on the wrong side of 30, and without enough quality young players in the pipeline to replace them, the end will come soon enough.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Illinois vs. Ohio State Preview: Illibuck-ing the Trend?

Imagine how the Illini teams of recent years would have reacted to one of the following scenarios:
  • The opposing team returns the opening kickoff for a touchdown.
  • While holding a four-point lead, the Illini commit a turnover inside their own five yard line.
  • Ron Zook makes one of his patented* boneheaded coaching decisions.
*Actually, I'm not sure if it's patented, but I'm pretty sure he at least has the application on file at the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.

Now, imagine all three of those things happening in the first half of the same game - no way the Illini win, right?  But this year's version of the Illini was able to overcome all of those mistakes and coast to an easy 41-20 win over Indiana last week.  Granted, the Hoosiers are terrible, but there have been plenty of occasions during the past few seasons where mistakes have cost the Illini wins over terrible teams.  No, I think what we're seeing here is a genuinely good Illinois football team.  With six wins, the Illini are already bowl-eligible, and it's just the fifth time in the last 16 years that the Illini can say that they'll be playing an extra game at the end of the season.  If the Illini can beat Ohio State (3-3, 0-2) on Saturday in Champaign, it would mark just the seventh time in the last 25 years that the Illini have managed a seven-win season.  But that would mean beating the Buckeyes at home - a feat the Illini haven't accomplished in twenty years.  Can the Illini pull it off and capture the Illibuck trophy for the first time since 2007?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Welcome to Chicago, Theo Epstein!

The Jewish fall harvest holiday Sukkot began on Wednesday night, and to celebrate, it looks as if the Cubs have harvested themselves a GM who assembled a team that won two World Series in a four-year span.  According to reports, Theo Epstein has agreed to a five-year deal to leave the Red Sox and take charge of the Cubs. 

When Jim Hendry was fired, I said that hiring his replacement would be one of the most important decisions in franchise history, and I'll give credit to the Ricketts family - they knocked this one out onto Waveland Avenue.  It's not just that Epstein broke the "Curse of the Bambino" in leading the Red Sox to glory, it's the way he accomplished it:

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Goodnight Bears.

After Monday night's 24-13 loss to the Detroit Lions, the Bears are sitting at 2-3, in a division with two 5-0 teams, each of whom have beaten the Bears once.  So it's Columbus Day, and the Bears' only chance to make the playoffs will be as the #6 seed in the NFC.  But it's more likely that we'll see a slow, painful descent into mediocrity the rest of the way.  And given that the Packers look like they may not lose a game all year, I think I have an answer to the question I posed a couple of months ago:  where's that NFL lockout when you need it?

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Cardinals 1, Phillies 0. It's Happening!

OK, so commenting on a Cardinals-Phillies playoff game isn't technically within the jurisdiction of my blog.  Of course, since this is a Cubs blog, commenting on any playoff game isn't going to fall within my jurisdiction.  But with the Cardinals advancing to the NLCS by virtue of Friday night's 1-0 win over the Phillies, I wanted to make sure to call your attention to a prediction I made in a Bleed Cubbie Blue Game Thread last week:
Just watch - The Packers sneaked into the playoffs on the last day of the season and went on to win the Super Bowl. Now the Cardinals are going to sneak into the playoffs on the last day of the season and win the World Series.
Thank you, Cardinals.  You're going to make me look like a supergenius!  And thanks, Phillies and Diamondbacks, for leaving me with a Brewers vs. Cardinals NLCS!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Illini vs. Indiana Preview - We're Leaving Home

Take away the names on the jerseys. If you told most college football fans that a 5-0, top-20 team had a game on Saturday against a team that had lost all four of its games against FBS competition so far this year (including losses to juggernauts Ball State and North Texas), how many would pick against the 5-0 team? Right - no one would; everyone would pick them to win big. But when that 5-0 team is #16 (or #19) ranked Illinois, a team that has left its supporters feeling disappointed so many times over the years, it's somewhat understandable why some people (including people who write for this blog) might feel a little nervous about the Illini's prospects against Indiana on Saturday. While Illini football fans have grown accustomed to nebulous feelings of impending doom, there are actual reasons to feel nervous:
  • The trip to the fake Memorial Stadium in Bloomington will mark the first time the Illini have traveled away from Champaign this season, so we don't know how the Illini will react when faced with a "hostile" crowd (hostile being a relative term in this case, since a lot of Indiana fans probably aren't even aware that they have a football team).  
  • It's true that the Hoosiers are 1-4 so far this year (the win came against South Carolina State, an FCS school with a losing record).  However, their four losses have been by a combined 19 points.  On the other hand, the Illini have won their last three games by a total of nine points. In other words, the Hoosiers might not be as bad as their record indicates, and the Illini might not be as good as their record indicates. 
  • While most of his predecessors have been rather anonymous, first-year Hoosiers Head Coach Kevin Wilson hasn't taken long to show that he's a jackass, but he's a jackass who might have extra motivation to stick it to the Illini. 
So is there legitimate cause for concern regarding Saturday's game?  If the Hoosiers are to spring the upset on Saturday, here are some areas where they might make it happen:

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Illini 38, Northwestern 35: The Land of Lincoln Trophy Stays Where it Belongs

My wife is a Northwestern alum, so I'll have to watch what I say in this post and not put the Wildcats down too much.  If I'm not careful, I might end up sleeping in the garage.  Just kidding - my wife would never do that to me.  The garage has a roof - she'd make me sleep in the driveway.

But seriously, enough about me - how about those Illini!  You might say three is the magic number, as for the third week in a row, the Illini pulled out a three-point victory.   On Saturday, two dramatic comebacks in the second half helped the Illini beat Northwestern 38-35.  Nathan Scheelhaase led the Orange and Blue on a last-minute, 70 yard touchdown drive which allowed the Land of Lincoln Trophy (left) to stay in Champaign with Chicago's Real Big Ten team.  More importantly, the Illini are off to their first 5-0 start since...actually, it's just as long as it's been since their last 4-0 start (i.e. - since 1951).  Here's a look at some key numbers from Saturday's game.